28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church -- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery-- but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Explanations:
This message has been churning up in my heart for months.

God created the relationship between husband and wife to mirror the relationship between Christ and the church.

Every sermon I have ever heard on this passage emphasized our duty to obey God in this.  I want to emphasize how much our spouses need what God asks us to give them.

For those who are single, please forgive, and look for principles that apply to you.

Men and women are created differently, and each have different emotional needs.

What most women crave emotionally more than anything else is love.
What most men crave emotionally more than anything else is respect.

Men Crave Respect
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

What Christ wants from the church = what the husband wants from his wife.

Trust.  Just as God wants us to trust Him, a husband craves the trust of his wife. Men are not always trustworthy.  But we all still crave trust from our wives.

Affirmation.  Bible tells us hundreds of times to praise the Lord.  Hallelujah. The Lord wants our praise.  Husbands likewise want to be praised. We crave appreciation and affirmation.

My wife Karen every week says my sermon is good.  She has said that every week for 28 years, even when I thought the sermon was poor. Would it be better if she gave me constructive criticism?  No. What I need from her is affirmation. I need to know she is behind me one hundred percent.

Submission.  The Lord wants the church to submit to Him.  Likewise, husbands crave a submissive wife.  Not a slave, but a wife who is willing to let her husband lead, and is willing to follow.

Wife, want to make your husband miserable?  Don't trust him, don't appreciate him, don't affirm him, don't let him lead.  Do that long enough, and you will strip him of his manhood emotionally.  There are some wives who are doing that.  They may not realize it, but that is what they are doing.

Wife, want to make your husband happier than he's ever been. Trust him, tell him how much you appreciate him, praise him, tell him he's a good husband, a good provider, a good father; let him take the lead.  Don't beat him down with criticism.  Build him up with affirmation.

Women Crave Love
25    Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26    to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27    and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28    In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29    After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church--
30    for we are members of his body.

To the church the love of God is all important. 
John 3:16
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

No matter what we face, we rejoice in the fact that God loves us.  That love means He will care for us.
Likewise, wives crave the love of their husbands.  Here's the proof: romance novels, romantic movies.
   
Women are created to find emotional satisfaction in relationships - with husband and children. A wife wants to be loved unconditionally, the way Christ loves the church. 

From "The Five Love Languages", by Gary Chapman
1.    Words of Affirmation.  "I Love You." "You're Beautiful."  "Thank you for being such a good wife and mother."  The more you do, the easier it becomes.
2.    Gifts.  For mother's day I got my mother one gift.  I got my wife 11 gifts.
3.    Acts of Service.  Klondike commercial of man putting glass in dishwasher.
4.    Quality time.  Spend time doing things together.  Talking.
5.    Physical touch.  Cuddling.  Kissing.  Hugging. Caressing. Etc.

Husband, if you want a miserable wife, don't show her any love. If you currently have a miserable wife, it could be that you aren't showing her the love that she craves.

If you want a happy wife who will be totally devoted to you.  Do everything you can to show her how much you love her.

There is an old adage every husband should know:  "Happy Wife, Happy Life."

31    "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
32    This is a profound mystery-- but I am talking about Christ and the church.
33    However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.


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What Your Spouse Craves
By Pastor John

Ephesians 5:21-33
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.